Under the eye
of the station clock
she begins to pace,
scans for a familiar face,
eyes the pigeons pecking
at breakfast croissant crumbs
demolished at her feet.
Too early or too eager,
embarrassed when she finally sees him
in the surge of crowd.
Kim M. Russell, 22nd October 2018
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Quadrille #67 – early
I’m hosting the Quadrille this Monday with the word ‘early. Whether you’re early or late, come and join us – the prompt is open all week!
Just like waiting eagerly for someone we might love. Nice word for the Quad! I like how you build up the tension in this. The pacing, the watching, then the embarrassment.
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Like how you described the potential embarrassment, but perhaps there was no need for concern being early. Someone had to arrive first.
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Some people are afraid to look too keen 😉
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Some people always seem to be early, some always seem to be late. There’s nothing worse than waiting. There’s a whole story in this poem.
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It has potential for development – a bit like Bjorn’s aged librarian! 🙂
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That embarrassment is so much to the point… I imagine this to be about net dating… being too eager must be among the 10 mortal sins of online love.
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I have always been early for everything until recently – now I find myself running late for the first time in my life – and still embarrassed!
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Tooting Bec 1986, that takes me back to boyfriends with big motorbikes 🙂
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I had just moved from opposite Tooting police station to Twickenham 🙂
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I lived on Hornsey Lane but the biker lived at Tooting Bec. I always thought it looked like a set from an Ealing comedy film.
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Funny you should say that – my daughter used to live in a road just off Lavender Hill!
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With the Mob?
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
So human and romantic, Kim! I especially love your alliteration and assonance in these lines:
eyes the pigeons pecking
at breakfast croissant crumbs
demolished at her feet.
Too early or too eager,
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Thank you, Frank! I’m not very good at romantic, so I’m delighted you picked up on the romance in this one. And cheers for the reblog!
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Sigh.. oh that eagerness.. that feeling.. that image of deep pink blush is soo romantic! 😍 Love the tone and pacing in this quadrille, Kim! ❤️
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Thank you, Sanaa! 🙂
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Anxious wait for a love. I like how that comes through. And the trying to think about something else (with theshift in focu on the pigeons). Nice job.
Pat
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Thank you, Pat. 🙂
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Very true,but suffocating for one, nicely panned
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Thanks!
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Oh, the anxiety…
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🙂
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The angst of waiting and being too eager, then the embarassment. Just wing and hide it, I say. Thanks for hosting Kim. Happy week to you.
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Thank you Grace, and I hope your week is a good one too.
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that eagerness is so attractive i think when someone sees us worth the trouble and wait, i had fuzzy goosebumps reading this…love it so much
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Thank you, Gina!
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Ah, never to early to spot first love. Reminded me of song, Beautiful to me. Very clear voice, loved the pace. I felt i read from a poet.
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Thank you so much, Henrr!
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Nice…I felt her embarrassment at being too early or too eager…probably no need but in the dating experience or even for a business arrangement, sometimes being too eager is a deterrment.
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Thank you Dorianna.
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“Too early or too eager,
embarrassed when she finally sees him
in the surge of crowd”
Oh I knew this feeling once, nicely done.
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Thank you!
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The waiting can feel like forever, it’s an uneasy feeling. I liked how you incorporated the pigeons.
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Thank you – I have a soft spot for pigeons!
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Oh you really captured the regret of being early and I could see her pacing. I suppose being late would be just as embarrassing.
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Thank you, Mish. Being late you can kind of brush off by blaming the bus or the traffic, but being early can look far too eager 🙂
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I love the anticipation here building. Perhaps a first meeting, or one separated by time..
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Thank you. It could even be a second meeting!
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The embarassment. The excitement. The pigeons. Love this details!
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🙂
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Waiting is hard for us. Better to feed the pigeons, make the most of the “waiting time.”
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oh, you’ve captured the essence in the waiting on … the tension, the pacing – and the words, the cadence reflect this very well Kim –
great use of “early” … as in eager for anticipation … wonderful aspect of the “touch” of embarrassment, although certainly, having lived this sensation, feeling before, is not exactly pleasant 😍😥
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Thank you so much, Pat 😊🌹
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Early oF LoVe’s
Arrival
Train
Station
Bare as Crowd Source..:)
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I haven’t seen any bare lovers at a station yet!
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Haha.. SMiLes..
Bare of Love
With
Clothes
On.. 😉
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🙂
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:)!
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I love this- ‘too early or too eager’. Simply marvelous. Reminds me of fresh love.
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Thanks Linda!
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Yes, what’s worse – being too late or too early? The litle detail of the pigeons makes it so real.
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Thank you, Mary.
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I don’t like being the first to arrive at an appointed meeting, and the waiting that follows. But I dislike even more being late.
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A common dilemma, Linda. I’m the same.
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Love this. SO romantic, if I may say so. 🙂
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Thank you, Imelda! 😊
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I really like this. I can imagine this scene so well–the clock, the pacing, the pigeons–and the embarrassment at being so eager. You got so much into 44 words! 🙂
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Thank you, Merril! 🙂
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“Too early or too eager”: Ha! This is so endearing — the anticipation is so well pictured here. Loved those crumbs of croissant. ❤
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Thank you, Anmol! 😊
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