Everything
is ebbing:
the sun
our lives
the leaves
the grass
the waves
the mist
our breaths on frosty mornings
clouds and streams
hopes and dreams
do
migrating
birds remind
you
that the year
is ebb-
ing?
Kim M. Russell, 8th November 2018
My response to Imaginary Garden with Real Toads Kerry Says: How Does the Story End?
Kerry has tested our knowledge with a real toad quiz on the last lines of some well-known poems. She says that often the hardest part of writing a poem is the creation of a memorable final line. The value of a strong conclusion is evident, but sometimes it is also elusive, and a poem with a great opening line, fades away at the end, or just comes to a dead stop. Kerry has therefore shared five helpful tips. For today’s challenge, she asks us to select one of them and write a new poem with a killer last line.
“ebbing” is such a particular word, and peculiar in some senses too …. one worth stopping to consider longer than just in passing, imo.
I like the lay out of the poem Kim. And the particular way you’ve used the words to set concrete ideas in mind, yet without being too particular and “fussy” for it … a metaphorical dip into the philosophical – and then, the closing stanza — is wonderful. Conclusive. Asks a question and really ties up the “gentle vagueness” of the beginning ….
and clever clever – because this really ties the whole poem together – captures the truth of “ebbing” – the wash and wave, the pull and push, the flow of …. the tides of life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get so much from your comments, Pat. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
thanks (but you can always tell me to shut up too! 😉 )
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the shape and structure of your poem, Kim 😊 and yes migrating birds do give us a hint that the year is ebbing ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sanaa. 💟
LikeLike
Oh, how cleverly you worked your final word into the last line, so it becomes a visual metaphor. I love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Kerry!
LikeLike
What a wonderful poem, I enjoyed the “look” of it, and the ideas found there!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Annell!
LikeLike
ebbing, migrating birds – and the clever ending. You work such magic into your poems.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Smiles. Thank you, Toni!
LikeLike
I really like the spacing and line breaks. I think that the varying line lengths — long and short but mostly short — mirrors the ebbing of the year.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks!
LikeLike
The way you emphasize “ebbing” has me reading “I see bb-ing” at the end, meaning holes … bb guns shooting everything, leaves, the sun, etc.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
I adore the way you structured the first stanza. Really well done.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Mama Zen!
LikeLike
I love the ebbing… but also how you have used the spacing in that middle part of the poem… it feels exactly like when you talk in cold weather… how words come in gasps.
LikeLiked by 2 people
😊
LikeLike
Love is lovely, let it grow. Eric Clapton.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, this is wonderfully done, Kim — the deftness of words, the ideas both concrete and metaphysical, the voice of reason and awareness all work so well. Ebbing is perhaps such a beautiful/sacred word to this season and perchance life too. And the visual appeal of this poem lies in those clever spaces and breaks — the poems like these make for a great reading experience. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you kindly, Anmol! 🙂
LikeLike
I love it! Yesterday a flock of Canada geese flew right over my head. The word ebbing reminds me of my grandma’s favourite song, “Ebb Tide”.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ebb is one of my favourite words (however, I do have a lot of them!) but I don’t think I know that song. I’ll look it up, Sherry.
LikeLike
I love the poem and the style in which you wrote it. I can feel the ebbing. Beautiful
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Susie.
LikeLike
I think the way you have structured this poem adds to the “punch” of it! I usually don’t like poems with line breaks i odd places, but it really works here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Margaret.
LikeLike
I think we pay more attention to those ‘ebbings’ as we age. This is lovely Kim, in both form and thought.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Linda.
LikeLiked by 1 person