December moon had reached its height,
everything was bleached of hue,
lending fields a spectral light
tinged with frosty blue.
Everything was bleached of hue
except for silent shadows
tinged with frosty blue
like moths gathering at windows.
Except for silent shadows,
all of nature shivered
like moths gathering at windows,
and icicles on branches quivered.
All of nature shivered,
breath burst into constellations
and icicles on branches quivered
with the galaxy’s vibrations.
Breath burst into constellations
as the moon reached its height,
in awe of the vibrations
and the spectral light.
Kim M. Russell, 6th December 2018
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: Repetitive Forms
Jill isn’t repeating herself this week with repetition but she is also raising the bar. In October, she asked us to write poetry that employed repetition of a single word, a phrase, or a line. Today Jill would like us to be brave and dive into repetitive forms, such as villanelles, terzanelles and pantoums. She has given us wonderful examples of a villanelle by Elizabeth Bishop, entitled ‘One Art’, and a pantoum by A.E. Stallings called ‘Another Lullaby for Insomniacs’. For those of us who want to put a toe in the water but not go swimming she has suggested the triolet and chant, with examples by Thomas Hardy and Charley of Life in Portofino respectively.
Our challenge is to write a form poem that makes use of repetitive lines. There are many poetic forms that use repetitive lines, so Jill would like us to state which form we are using and if it is not one of these five, share a quick explanation of how the form works. I decided to try a pantoum.
Oh, so beautiful! Excellent pantoum; filled with soft sounds and images. I especially light the quivering and shivering – that gives a hint of a snowy night under the moon. Nice!
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Thank you so much, Jill! I started with a terzanelle but then changed to the pantoum, which was a bit of a struggle but I got there in the end. 🙂
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I read it several times and thought, I can do this… but the pantoum is my nemesis at the moment! 🙂 You made it look effortless!
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This is so lovely… I long for winters just like this, with snow and moon, and that silent quality that only winter can have.
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The best kind of winter. 🙂
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You had me at /breath burst into constellations/. Nice use of the form. An ode to winter, so blue.
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Thank you, Glenn!
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I liked those silent shadows with frosty blue.
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Thank you, Frank.
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Nicely done – the repetition really accents the imagery, helps create the mood.
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Thank you, V.J. Form poems can be so tricky.
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They can be tricky, but i think well worth the effort.
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i like the multi-sensory experience of it
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Thank you, Jade.
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You nailed the form! I enjoyed the read (I who am allergic to all things winter!). It’s a beautiful, frosty poem. Well done.
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Thanks Charley.
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You are welcome!
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It certainly conveys winter to me!
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Thank you! I apologise for taking so long to reply, but I’ve been offline on grandmother duties. 🙂
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This gets a wow! from me. The last stanza is my favorite part. Way to go.
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Thank you so much, Ali.
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This one gave me the shivers—it captures the cold so well!
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Thanks Jane!
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🙂
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Lovely picture you painted of a winter’s night and the actual picture you chose to accompany it depicts the poem perfectly- or perhaps it was an ekphrastic poem? Either way – beautiful…
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Thank you, Christine. It took me ages to find an image I liked that would fit the poem.
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A lovely Pantoum Kim!
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Thank you, Linda!
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Beautiful, fanciful pantoum, Kim.
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Thank you, Sara
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Gorgeous imagery, I loved it.
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Thank you!
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Oh I can see how Breath bursts into constellations and icicles quiver. The small droplets of breath freeze and join the pantheons in the skies in their impact, I love that SOOOOO much! From the tiny to the cosmic, and all given life in the darkness by silver light. I try to avoid cold, but I have always loved walking in moonlight in a winterscape (if it is not tooo tooo cold!)
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Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful appreciation, Lona!
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Good use of the pantoum form.Love the pic and the poem. Those winters are frosty blue. A dim memory for me now. There is a certain magic about the Northern winter. Nice to think about it whilst dangling my feet in a rock pool under a big hat:)
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Thank you, Rall. Keep cool!
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Beautifully done. Even though I don’t like the cold, there is something special about those quiet frosty nights. I particularly like: “breath burst into constellations.”
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Thank you, Merril.
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Makes me want to write a winter poem. The stars here are snowflakes! That photo is a lovely compliment to your words.
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Thank you, Colleen!
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Very atmospheric; even a bit spooky.
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Thank you, Rosemary.
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A most exquisite Pantoum, Kim! ❤️ Especially love; “Breath burst into constellations as the moon reached its height”.. such a lovely image! 😍😍
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Thank you so much, Sanaa. 😀🌹
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I love the blue imagery in your poem, love the pantoum as a form! You may be interested in the Monday feature at Poets United. Wendy Bourke is talking about the use of repetition in forms. Pretty cool.
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Thank you, Sherry. I haven’t had a chance to read or comment on anything yet as I’ve been away at my daughter’s. But Wendy’s feature is something I plan to read.
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The repetition of lines and the rhythm of this poem makes it such a delight to read aloud. And I really love that it starts with moonlight and ends just as ethereally bright.
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Thank you, Magaly. Sorry I’ve only just replied but I’ve been on grandmother duties. 😉
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Love this in all its hues, especially the blues!! You have captured the season well!
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Thank you, Annell!
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This is beautiful. I’d love to hear it read, it’s the kind of meditative verse that would be good to encounter in a winter playlist.
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Thank you so much, Wyndolynne.
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You have captured December’s beauty in a lovely way. Love the details & the way they were poetically presented. Bravo.
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Thank you so much, Mary.
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Wow! What a beautiful, mesmeric piece. Love the form. You have me intrigued to try out a pantoum, myself.
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Thank you so much, Wendy.
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Moonlight on snow… truly magical.
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Thank you, Rajani!
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Wondrous, Kim, how you brought the energy of Genesis into this pantoum of an unassuming winter’s eve.
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Thank you so much, Amaya.
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You deserve an Oscar for this pantoum! I looped and whirled with these words all the way through. Brava!!!
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Thank you, Viv! I’m back from grandmother duties.
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Beautiful! Enjoy your Christmas holiday 🙂
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Best Christmas wishes to you and your family, Viv 🎅
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😊
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Love your images here, Kim. I’ve never tried a pantoum. Villanelle is as far as I’ve ventured. Well done!!
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Thank you, Sarah.. I apologise for taking so long to reply, but I’ve been offline on grandmother duties. 🙂
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