This morning I was woken by the sound of birdsong,
a faint and distant tiny tin whistle of a song,
as I lay in the cosy comfort of my warm bed
and contemplated getting up and whistling along.
Pulling a woolly sweater over my tousled head,
I stepped outside, where a two-toned light began to spread,
permeating clouds with a wash of yellow and pink,
and disturbed icy dewdrops where my feet dared to tread.
The ground beneath dark shadows that caused my feet to sink
was covered with a veil of frost that silvered night’s ink.
I searched for the tinkling source of my broken slumber
but the bird had fallen silent as the dawn sky pinked,
Kim M. Russell, 31st January 2019
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar Poetry Forms: The Rubaiyat
Frank is our host this week with another form to exercise our poetic muscles in a continuation of our poetry forms series.
After the sonnet we have the rubaiyat, the basic unit of which is the ruba’i. Frank has provided us with a background history, information on basic structure, meter and rhyme schemes, and asks us to write a ruba’i or rubaiyat. He has also shared an example to inspire us: Robert Frost’s ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’.
What a very real image you have given me! I can imagine you half asleep, looking out into the morning light 🙂 I really enjoyed this Kim.
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Thank you, Christine! 🙂
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Nice use of that long line. The birds I am most familiar with start behaving differently at dawn. We all greet the sun.
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Thank you, Frank.
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Nice one, Kim. We both had similar thoughts.
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As we sometimes do… 🙂
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You noticed that too.
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I would love to listen to birdsongs at this time. Kim, I love this part: veil of frost that silvered night’s ink.
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Thank you, Grace.
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I like the storytelling in this… it actually has a likeness to stopping by woods I think with your travel so much shorter than the long treck in the snow by the narrator in Frost’s poem. So even if you have used the longer lines from Omar’s original quatrain’s I see a stronger resemble to Frost’s connected quatrains… excellent
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Thank you so much, Bjorn!
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Nice use of the longer 13 syllable format. I used connecting quatrains as well, endeavoring to spin a tale; working with Frost’s 8 syllable lines.
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Thank you, Glenn. I’ll continue reading and commenting shortly. It’s another freezing morning over here but I’ve seem some parts of the States have -30 and lower temperatures!
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Oh, Kim, this is such a vivid picture of a frosty morning! And I love the longer lines.
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Thank you, Candy!
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beautiful rendering of a moment in time
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Thank you, Jade.
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i am not familiar with this form, but like how your poem has turned out Kim, especially the second and final quatrain.
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Thanks V.J.
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welcome.
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A very nice flow to your poem. The story works well and your images are wonderful! … a veil of frost that silvered night’s ink. Sky pinked… tin whistle song …icy dewdrops. All great!
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Cheers Dwight!
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Oh, that’s lovely. That long line is very brave, but you make it seem effortless. The form and the subject also made me think of one of the few bits of Omar Khayyam I can remember. This is a very English, frosty response to his rosy fingered dawn and bird of night.
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Thank you, Sarah.
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The 13 syllable lines are really useful here. Love birdsong!
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This is very beautiful with touches of smiles and fun. Geez, the 4th or 5th bird Rubaiyat today! They must be singing loudly
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Thank you, Sabio. It seems to me that some forms attract certain themes. I can’t explain why, but the Rubaiyat is the form for birds.
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I love the invitation of the birdsong to get you out of bed and not miss the pink dawn! Beautiful!
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Thank you, Mary!
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This was a beautiful morning Kim, a joy to fresh crisp read! The photo is killer as well. Deeply moody and captivating. I got inspired and wrote two Frost inspired rubaiyat love poems – one dark, one filled with light. The light filled one has bird songs and dew like yours… 🙂
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Thank you, Rob!
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I love this, Kim. Most especially these words
” a veil of frost that silvered night’s ink.”
I am dreaming of the morning I can have my window open and there are green leaves and once again birds in the branches. Spring — do hurry up and come!
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Thank you, Lill. Open windows, yes!
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This is so detailed and lyrical. And that last line is amazing Kim.
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Thank you, Linda.
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like a story within a story, to find the cause of true life misery
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It really evokes morning, the world awakening. (K)
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🙂
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What a lovely morning you paint. I’ve noticed that the little birds are suddenly more active in the past 2 weeks and are singing in the morning around here, and the robins have appeared. Love your internal and end rhymes.
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Thank you so much, Nora.
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Wow, beautifully done! I like the13-syllable line. Might try that too.
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Thank you, Rosemary! 13-syllable lines are tricky but worth it when you’ve cracked it.
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Our muse was slightly similar, Kim. 🙂 I enjoyed the story that came to life in this Rubaiyat. This line is stunning…”a veil of frost that silvered night’s ink.”
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Thank you, Mish. 🙂
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The longer lines of this really reflect the subject of your poem – love that pace!
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Thanks Jill!
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Lovely!
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Thank you!
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I like the wistful air of this.
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Thanks Ken.
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This really captures the moment like a Haiku should but this form let’s us linger and enjoy each part of it until the bird song stops. Great!
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Thank you kindly!
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