ragged rooks follow
the path of a plough
black wings
reflect the sorrow
lonely tomorrow
tear springs
walking in yarrow
sad chiaroscuro
death stings
Kim M. Russell. 25th April 2019
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Poetry Form: the Lai
Grace is our host with a new poetry form: the lai. It reminds me a little of haiku, tanka and shadorma.
This is my first attempt and I found it tricky; I fear it could easily become stilted and forced, so I imagine I will have to write quite a few before I get the hang of it.
writing in north norfolk 
Love the melancholia of spring, specially death stings. Also like: chiaroscuro, end-rhyming with follow/sorrow.
I must try my hand in single Lai. I feel the same way with this form too Kim. I need more practice, smiles.
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Thank you, Grace. I found the lai quite tricky and thought a single one would be good to begin with. I’m not sure how much practice I’ll be able to get now that exam season has come around. I’ll be in Cardiff for a conference on Monday/Tuesday and as soon as I get back I have to get started, on top of the other things I do during the week. But I will still need my poetry fix 😉
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I think that’s a great first attempt. It looks like a really tricky form – I think it’s going to take a while to tune in.
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Thank you, Sarah, I agree that tuning in could take a while.
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I agree. It’s tricky to get it to sound like a poem.
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I think the darkness worked well with the form… and a great way to do it with the rooks and sorrow.
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Thank you, Bjorn.
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Oh wow. Those words!
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Thank you, Nathan!
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Such a strong and sad Lai; it worked well for me. I loved the first tercet–/ragged rooks follow/the path of a plough/black wings/. Clever slant rhyme and vivid imagery. You certainly could have continued with more stanzas; looking forward to your next one
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Thank you, Glenn.
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A fantastic first attempt Kim!
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Thanks Linda!
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I admit to taking this challenge with a grain of salt, but you’ve made me a believer! Well done.
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Thank you so much, Bev. The lai is such a tricky form to work with.
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Nice write! Those rooks must have gotten baked into a pie!! Spring Sorrow for sure!
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Nice write! Those rooks must have gotten baked into a pie!! Spring Sorrow for sure!
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The dark mood works well with the rhythm. Like a drumbeat in a funeral procession. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe.
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way to use ” chiaroscuro” …Kim…like the rhythm!
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🙂
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You created a sorrowful scene with vivid imagery here.
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Thank you, Jade.
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Death comes before life, dark is churned and new forms begin. Well done. Glad to hear about “rooks” again, we don’t have them here.
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Thanks Sabio.
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I feel like this form somehow lends itself to more melancholy poems. Yours is well written and true to form.
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Thank you, Crystal. I think the tone of the lai depends on the end rhymes, whether they rise or fall.
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