No sky’s completely cloudless,
there are clouds we cannot see,
tiny breathless drops of hope
above a hopeless sea.
Although we know it’s boundless,
and its waves forever restless,
human beings can be feckless
in the ocean’s cold embrace,
and our bodies spiral, weightless,
to the bottom of the sea.
But our atoms, although formless,
are completely rootless,
free to dissipate, quite helpless,
in salty sunbathed waves,
become tiny drops of careless
clouds above a hopeless sea.
Kim M. Russell, 12th November 2019
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Poetics: Less is More, More or Less
Laura is our host this week, reminding us that Christmas is around the corner with one of the more self-evident messages of the season: ‘less is more’, a saying that was adopted from Robert Browning’s poem ‘Andrea del Sarto’.
Laura shares poems with similar messages, from Natasha Trethewey and Wendell Berry. She also reminds us that the suffix ‘less’ has both negative and positive connotations, and even neutral ones.
Our challenge is to choose ONE or MORE from a given list of words, which should be included in the body and/or title of our poems. If possible, we should a soupçon of hopefulness, as hope is the message in this first advent week!
Great use of “less” words – you’ve given it a driving rhythm – it would work well as a performance piece, I think. And who wouldn’t want to be dissolved to become a careless cloud?
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Thanks Sarah. I might try recording a reading.
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Ooh, yes.
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I read this as a story of death and rebirth… being dissolved in sea, sinking and raising as clouds only to water the soil again… the cycle of life.
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Yes!
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Good rhythm in this, Kim, and I like your hopeless sky that repeats.
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Thank you, Jane.
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“Breathless drops of hope” and “tiny drops of careless” … Love those phrases!
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Thank you, Bev!
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That first verse is just a brilliant little piece of poetry.
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Thank you, Xan.
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You used a lot of “less” words. I took the less is more and wrote an American Sentence using one of the less words. The first verse is excellent. Although when people italicize the used words, it distracts me a bit.
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Thank you, Toni. I see what you mean about the italicised words. I love your American sentences. 🙂
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Nicely done Kim. You addressed less in a big way!
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Thanks Dwight!
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great use of many lesses .. nice cycle of life and death …
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Thank you,Kate.
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This ebbs and flows and swirls–great movement that reflects the natural world. (K)
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I like the description of hope as clouds “tiny breathless drops of hope” that one can’t see.
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Thanks Frank!
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