The initial blast of snow
that would only last an hour or so – was
it a figment of the
fearful mind
or a tentative reminder of
the rapid passing of Time?
I imagine the Old Man sifting
moments at his desk; the book of life opens itself
and he sets about drafting
the rest of my days; the
lack of adventure and joy leaves me feeling old
and cold, and I resolve to spice up the remaining years.
At the end,
I want to be with you.
Do you remember when you wrote
me letters almost every day, your
handwriting so familiar, your name
precious and one I could rely on?
My breath clouds the
frosted window-pane,
silvering thoughts of the past with
the cool touch of your
lips and your young
and innocent hand.
Kim M. Russell, 17th December 2020
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: endings / beginnings, also linked to earthweal open link weekend
This Thursday, Peter is here with the last MTB for the year and, he says, since we’re going to be away for a wee while, we’re talking about endings. He wants us to think about this prompt as a seasonal buffet of five delicious things about the various endings in verse, which he has explained.
Peter is leaving the choice up to us. All we have to do is write about endings: it could be a golden shovel, a play with endings, a poem with the good old ‘repeating the word just in case you missed it’ ending, a surprise ending, a circular poem where the end brings us back to the beginning, or it could be a villanelle, pantoum, ghazal or any other repeating form which resists endings and returns us to the beginning.
I chose to create a golden shovel with the second stanza of Carol Ann Duffy’s poem ‘Christmas Eve’:
Snow was the mind of Time, sifting
itself, drafting the old year’s end.
You wrote your name on the window-pane
with your young hand.
The only change I made was to omit the apostrophe from ‘year’s’.
Image found on Pinterest
I really love what you did here… it became an expansion of the poem by Carol Ann Duffy and still very much your own. I felt some pangs wishing for snow… here is just drizzle and grey.
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Thank you, Bjorn. We actually had sunshine today! very cold though.
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The ending stanza hits the heart. Spice it up, of course.
How lovely you have made of the shovel form, that I didnt know until the end that you have used these ending words from Duffy’s poem. Thank you for being part of our dVerse team and our poetry community.
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Thank you for having me, Grace!
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Beautiful, Kim: a poignant reflection on the book of life.
‘At the end,
I want to be with you.’
Such a heartfelt sentiment and we are lucky if we have someone in our life who means that much to us.
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Just lovely Kim – Duffy’s original and your golden shovel both about family, loss and time passing – yours I think a more intimate poem. I so liked how the poem hinges in the last two stanzas – from generalities to something more acute and personal. A lovely wintery elegy. (Thanks also for the chilly images, so welcome as the temperature climbs here).
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So poignant and evocative, Kim. A lovely poem!
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Thank you, Merril!
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Oh what a marvelous write to end the year at dVerse with! I adore the second stanza…and then as I read more, a story unfolds. And at the end I just sigh.
I was not familiar with the poem you used…..those words are included seamlessly. Had never done a Golden Shovel poem and quite enjoyed the form. Of course, any kind of shovel is helpful right now in Boston with 12+ inches of new fallen snow! 🙂
Here’s to a happy and healthy 2021 – one where we can hug again and be with loved ones and see smiles as we pass people by on the street!
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Thank you so much, Lill! It looks like you will have a white Christmas this year – please keep sharing the photos on Facebook, they are lovely! And virtual hugs would be lovely too! 😉
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That was quite lovely.
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Thank you!
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This part is so heartening: “I resolve to spice up the remaining years.” Once that green light hits!
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Covid has paused the spicing up for a while. I’ll be happier when normal service is resumed.
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Your third stanza made my heart ache for those days when I wrote my mother weekly, and replied without fail. I miss those letters, and waiting for the postie to delivery them into my hand. A really lovely shovel.
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Thank you, Misky! I still love to receive letters, postcards, any form of written correspondence.
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My mother died young, and while I was in the Navy, it was my grandfather who wrote me weekly for several years. I kept all his letters, and he kept mine, which he gave to me before he passed. I put them all in chronological order. When I first started my blog I typed them all up and presented them as a decade’s saga.
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I still have a letter my grandma wrote to me when I lived in Germany. She died not long after. I’ve clung to it ever since. Are your grandfather’s letters in your archives, Glenn?
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Beautiful poem
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Thank you, Christine.
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I find this poem simply humbling. Truly.
I loved this especially –
-David
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I’m so pleased you enjoyed it, David. Thank you.
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You’ve expanded the beauty of her words into your own. The compression of time evoked by memories touches the melancholy with love. (K)
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Thanks so much, Kerfe.
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That third stanza was so heartfelt! ❤ The blast of snow at the beginning and then “the cool touch of your lips” at the end was nicely done. A lovely golden shovel poem 💯 Enjoy this holiday season ❄
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Thank you, Tricia! Happy holidays!
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Oh, such nostalgia here. I remember those daily letters in the familiar hand, how heartfelt was each moment of young love. Really beautiful. One I had to read more than once.
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Thank you, Yvonne!
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This is so heartfelt Kim. I can so relate to these lines-‘lack of adventure and joy leaves me feeling old
and cold, and I resolve to spice up the remaining years.’
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Thanks so much, Linda. Once the pandemic is over the spicing up will begin!
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Yes!
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Beautiful and filled with nostalgia, Kim. The last stanza can stand proudly on its own. Brava!
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Thank you, Eugenia!
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My pleasure, Kim!
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A lovely incorporation of Duffy’s second stanza …. reading your poem found me wistful ~ wishing for days and people in my past. Happy Holidays and hope for a better new year.
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Thank you so much, Helen, and best wishes for a merry Christmas and happy New Year.
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Excellent response to Peter’s wonderful prompt. Hope you have a great holiday season, and look forward to reading more of your work in 2021.
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Thank you, Rob. A merry Christmas to you and yours, and I look forward to reading your words in, hopefully,be much better New Year.
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What a lovley poem, so wistful. I too miss writing and getting letters.
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Thank you, Kim. I like postcards too.
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Ahhhhh, this is such s lovely, poignant poem. So beautiful it hurts. I love it.
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Thank you so much, Sherry!
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The golden shovel is faintly apparent — less so than the breath of the poem’s remembrance on an icy pane. There is a gathering up in this moment and its remembrance, deciding to make the most of the heart that has grown to this point. Well done Kim. – Brendan
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Cheers Brendan. I’m looking forward to tomorrow ‘s earthworks prompt.
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earthworks indeed!
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Oops! My Kindle gremlins are at it again! I definitely typed earthweal – it tried to change it again. The laptop is safer but it’s in a freezing cold room. 😊
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I don’t know how I missed this, Kim! The link is highlighted but I’ve definitely not been here before. I would have remembered that last poignant stanza as delicate as frost on the pane. A lovely piece of work.
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Thank you so much, Jane. Best wishes for a peaceful Christmas and a much more hopeful New Year.
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Same to you, Kim, with bells on 🙂
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😊
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Oh Kim, this is wonderful and delicate, we often start by bargaining with God, it made me smile to picture him like an old man, a mere functionary, mapping out our days, with a twinge of boredom, but we still have the capability to surprise him. So interesting how we may start by bargaining with God, but it is the lesser beings in our sphere who move us to divine and delicate remembrance, and may I say, covenant (being bound). The breath of life, the delicate tracings fleeting as a spirit, The Spirit? unforgettable, ineffable. What a sweet delicate offering here.
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Thank you so much, Lona, for your close reading and sensitive response. Happy holidays!
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🎄happy holidays to you also ☺️🎄
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