She had swum too far,
felt the power of waves tugging her
towards the horizon
before striking back to shore.
On the way back,
when she reached out her puckered hand,
she felt like beach pebbles
scattered by the sea in ever shifting sand.
Kim M. Russell, 25th January 2021
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Quadrille: No way. Way!
Lisa is our host for this Monday’s Quadrille, with the word ‘way’, which she says took her a while to find and settle on. I love the poems she has shared as examples: ‘The Way In’ by Linda Hogan, ‘The Way’ by Edwin Muir and Charles Bukowski’s ‘roll the dice’.
Today we are writing quadrilles, poems of 44 words (excluding the title), which must include the word ‘way’.
In this poem I was thinking of Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar.
Image by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
writing in north norfolk 
Oh you made me feel that sense of drowning, which to me felt even more real as a metaphor than drowning for real… maybe in the end the waves will pull her back to the shore.
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Thank you, Bjorn!
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Kim, you took me back to when I struggled to get back to shore after being frightened by a jellyfish! I do hope she made it back…
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She did in the book.
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I have not yet read it. But I do plan to, someday!
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Oh the power of the water here, Kim….that towing her farther and farther out….this is palpable in her effort. And the added specific frightening detail that makes the length of time of this swim turned struggle – the “puckered hand” just hits me right in the gut. Just an amazing write that makes me FEEL what is happening here.
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Thanks Lill!
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Oh the ending really captivated me as instead of just simply feeling the beach pebbles, she felt she was the beach pebbles. Wonderful, Kim.
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Thank you, Mish!
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As Bjorn said, I too feel the sensation and depth of drowning. It feels so real, being submerged even though I’ve never drowned in water. It feels like it’s sucking my lungs out, the pressure only increasing, while my breath is leaving me. I’ve almost sank into a pool before being lifted back up to shallow water, but I never drowned and I think this is the sensation that is most accurate for drowning.
It also reminds me of people being caught in rip tides. This is so beautifully and evocatively written.
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Thanks Lucy. I nearly drowned in swimming pool when I was a child. A friend saved me.
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To feel like beach pebbles. Your image of a swimmer struggling against the sea is so like the rolling of shingle as it’s dragged back by the tide.
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Thank you, Jane.
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The mid-turn made me think she was caught in the curl of a wave, and never released. An agitating tumble.
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Yes, there is a touch of ambiguity.
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It’s a talent, Kim, to not box in the reader’s imagination.
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Thank you, Marilyn.
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I can almost hear her weary heaving lungs as she makes her way back to shore. Scary to get to that too far out place. Excellent metaphor and tribute to Plath ❤
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That’s the chapter that really got to me when I read The Bell Jar.
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I haven’t read it, but knowing Plath and knowing Lake MI it brought it to life for me.
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Having once been rip-tided almost into oblivion, I felt this viscerally. Outstanding write, KR. Thanks
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Thank you, Ron!
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Rip tides are not your friend. I was a strong swimmer in my youth. I used to swim against the current for fun. I once walked out on a jetty at night and meditated. But the tide came in and covered the way back. I did not want to swim back, so I sat for several hours waiting got the tide to turn .
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That would freak me out!
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Since my mother taught me to be terrified of water, I found myself taking a deep breath at the end to be sure I still could! Great drama.
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Thank you, Bev!
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Since my mother taught me to be terrified of water, I found myself taking a deep breath at the end to be sure I still could! Great drama.
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The idea of her transforming to beach pebbles was for me very interesting, after the scary struggle of returning to her comfort zone
Happy Monday
Much💖love
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Thank you, Gillena, and much love to you.
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I could feel her puckered hands …. frightening for me as I am not a strong swimmer. Enjoyed this, Ms. Kim.
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Thank you, Helen!
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“she felt like beach pebbles
scattered by the sea in ever shifting sand”
This gives the sense of hopelessness she felt, even having survived the ordeal.
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Thanks Ken!
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Mesmerizing words. Nicely done.
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Thank you, Maria!
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Ever shifting sands.. changing goal posts, seems so true to life in general and not just swimming! Loved the play of words
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
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👏 👏 👏 Kim 👏 👏 👏
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a lot a feeling quite at sea these days Kim, great analogy!
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Thanks Kate!
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You described her anxiety and fear so perfectly in this poem! also what an awesome use of the prompt, bravo, Kim!
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Thank you, Jay!
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I’ve seen several people need to be rescued after swimming out too far. But the sea is hypnotic. I’m sure the exhaustion is just like breaking apart into stones. (K)
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You made me feel what it must be like to drown. One of my deepest fears, which is why I don’t venture too far in water.
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I’m afraid of swimming in the sea.
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Me too.
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I like how the struggle is transforming her. I feel like life this is somewhat of an ego death and she is going to come out stronger! 💖
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Thanks Tricia.
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Ghd sea is so very powerful Kim, great write…
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Thanks Rob.
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You made it so viivid, Kim, and took me back to that moment of realizing you’ve “swum too far” – frightening. The sense of the fragmented self as “beach pebbles scattered” is exactly what hits after the intense fear.
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Thank you so much, Dora.
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My pleasure!
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Powerful and evocative. Just beautiful.
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Thank you, Louise.
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Powerful writing. Thinking you might drown or be drowning is a scary sensation. Being pushed under by waves or dragged about in the rip current. Wondering if you have the strength in your limbs to even make it back to shore. Captured the emotion perfectly.
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Thank you for reading and commenting!
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