Crows in the boughs remind her
of her distant home, the man
she left behind. Perhaps he listens
to the patter of the rain,
the cawing of the roosting birds,
and thinks of her. So alone,
she lies down on her bed,
her crow black eyes like stones.
Kim M. Russell, 20th April 2021
Image found on Pinterest
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Poetics: China – Kingdom of the Poem
Laura tells us that today is UN Chinese Language Day, and we have a Chinese- based Poetics prompt. She says that ‘long before Shakespeare and Milton, poetry held a place of esteem in Chinese culture’, and she shares translations of classical Chinese poems by five of their renowned poets.
Our challenge is to select any ONE of the given poems and imagine what the poet has painted, what impressions are conveyed. Then we should either reinterpret the poem in our own style or, for those of us who prefer a classical form, re-interpret the poem in the Chinese LUSHI style. I chose ‘Crows Calling at Night’ by Li bai and the Chinese LUSHI style.
Oh, I knew that you would choose that poem Kim, just brilliant how you weave the calling into those crow eyes in conclusion of your poem
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Thank you, Bjorn, you know me too well by now.
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sweet and sad love story on waves of reciprocal thoughts – the last line is perfect!
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Thank you, Laura!
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This is incredibly, incredibly gorgeous in its use of imagery, tone and lush language, oh “Crows in the boughs,” is just wonderful and rolls right off my tongue 😀 I love how you have associated them with memories and have struck a comparison with “her crow black eyes like stones..” Genius! 💝💝
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Thank you so much, Sanaa. As I said to Linda, I was worried I’d stuck too closely to the original.
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You’re most welcome! 💝
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Kim- I almost chose this one. You have captured the essence so well!
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Thank you, Linda. I was worried I stayed too close to the original.
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How well you have captured the style and tone of the original, and yet made it your own. The image is perfect!
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Thanks, Ingrid, that’s so kind of you!
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First off, I love the image you chose to go with it. I really like the minimalist approach you took, clear as a bell, and her black eyes like stones a perfect conclusion.
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A fabulous comment, Lisa, thank you so much!
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You’re welcome, Kim.
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This is hauntingly beautiful Kim. The longing and sorrow is palatable.
I too is stunned by the sorrowful image of the crows eyes in the last line.
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Thanks so much, Helene!
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So much said through the imagery of crows, and so much left unsaid. But the eyes “like stones” is chillingly cold and and lonely. Beautifully crafted Kim.
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Thank you kindly, Dora. I have a soft spot for all corvids. I currently have two magpies visiting my garden.
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I seem to remember reading about the ravens returning to the Tower of London a year or so ago. Well it made the keeper of the Tower happy anyway. 🙂
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I agree with all the comments above, Kim. Lovely and sadly beautiful–and those crows eyes at the end.
I also have to say you are superwoman. Wow! I don’t know how you are doing AND reading all these prompts, plus Top Tweet Tuesday today. Kudos and congratulations!
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Thank you so much, Merril! I didn’t feel like superwoman last night when I crawled into bed. I need to get off my derriere today, get out and stretch my legs! But it looks like rain this morning. Typical, after wall-to-wall sunshine yesterday!
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You did a great job! I haven’t finished reading dVerse poems from last week. 🤣 Hope your weather cooperates. The sun is out here now, but we’re supposed to maybe get thunderstorms.
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I love the ending and how it sits in the gut! Great interpretation!
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Thank you, Tricia!
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Perhaps he lives his life with deep regret for the loss of his one true love.
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Stunning!
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Thank you!
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One wonders does he think of her as she think of him?
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I would hope so.
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The mood evoked here is so well done and the call back to the crows via her eyes was perfect.
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Thank you, Raivenne.
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Wow, Kim, that was a killer ending. Simply perfect.
❤
David
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Thank you, David!
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Oh I love this. Everything and anything can spark a memory. Even crows!
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Thank you, Mary!
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With just a few lines, you’ve added so much depth to the scene in the original. The sorrow in this is palpable, especially with your closing line.
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Thank you, Ken.
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Lovely re-telling of the original poem.
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Thank you!
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Very nicely done Kim!
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Thanks Dwight!
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Beautiful reinterpretation on this, Kim. We picked the same one!
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Thank you, Sara!
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wow, Kim. Your 2nd poem could be the response to this one – you’re prescient! and yes, this is melancholic compared to the fine Poe-ish turn of the 2nd. ~
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Thank you, Michael!
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