An attempt at science fiction

I’ve started a 750 word science fiction (flash fiction) story. As you’re not supposed to submit stories that have been published anywhere, even on a blog, I can’t reproduce all of the 450 words I have written so far. But I hope to get some ideas about the direction in which the story should go and would be grateful for any input. So here is the opening paragraph and a brief synopsis of what happens next. I haven’t written the ending and that is what I hope you might help me with.

Selena hadn’t seen her brother for ten years. When he first moved to the other side of the universe, he kept in touch via the Universal Space Organisation, who forwarded his messages daily, then weekly – until they fizzled out altogether. So when a message appeared on her Facebook timeline, she had to read it more than once. It was hard to ignore her heart knocking against her rib cage.  

The message was short: ‘Have been following you. Can’t wait to see you. Al 🙂

Selena believes it’s her brother because only she ever called him Al and so she has a Facebook conversation with him, which involves a silent video of him doing a tour of the space station, which doesn’t impress her because she loves her creature comforts.She asks a few questions, which he answers, but when she asks about the other astronauts, the conversation ends abruptly.

Questions raised by this are:

  1. How did Al manage to access Facebook from space?
  2. Why was the video silent?
  3. Where are the other astronauts?
  4. What does he want from his little sister?

I do hope this prompts some involvement from the writers and readers among you and look forward to reading your responses.

6 thoughts on “An attempt at science fiction”

  1. Sounds great! Very gripping opener! Is Selena based on Earth or on another form of habitat i.e.; space station, starship, etc? The video’s lack of audio could have something to do with something physical, like a vacuum and lack of air for sound to travel in or something fantastical and much more dark! I imagine this could benefit from being a super creepy story!
    Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much for your valuable input! Selena is on Earth – she is too comfortable to leave. I do want it to be creepy and the fact that he is on his own up there is a contributing factor to the creepiness. Also, is it really a video? How can he respond to her questions if it is? I have to go out this morning but I hope to have some more responses later on and I will try to finish the story later this week.

      Like

      Reply

  2. Definitely sounds interesting. I think a space station is an excellent setting for a science fiction mystery. It’s distant enough to be foreign, but it’s close enough that in an interplanetary sense it almost can feel like a “the call’s coming from inside the house” scenario. I would love to see the rest, but hopefully it’ll be accepted and I’ll be forced to wait to read it in whatever publication it’s printed in.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you for your input. So far I have received only two replies with comments and suggestions. You’ve been a great help and I will be finishing the story and submitting it next week. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.