warmth of summer breeze
stirs wisteria blossoms
sweet breath of incense
© Kim M. Russell, 2016
My response to Carpe Diem Revise That Haiku #7 Wisteria Blossom by Kiyoshi (father of Yozakura)
Just for fun, we have a new episode of the special feature ‘Revise That Haiku’ in which the challenge is to re-create a haiku by a well-known haiku poet. To do this, we need to read the original haiku several times to get in tune with the scene it describes and then, with that scene, we have to create a new ‘revised’ version of the haiku, this time one written by the father of Yozakura, Kiyoshi:
only silence
the summer breeze caresses
Wisteria blossom
© Kiyoshi, father of Yozakura
writing in north norfolk 
Marvelous!
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Oh, I love this very much! You captured the main element about wisteria….scent! The pendulous lavender grape like form is beautiful but the scent! A wonderful revision.
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Thank you, Jane! I’m pleased you like it. Sometimes I’m not sure about haiku – they sometimes seem incomplete, unlike tanka, which have a little more substance.
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Agreed. They can be tricky little devils. I think of haiku as ‘one breath’ and tanka as ‘two breaths’. I believe haiku can be as full as tanka in expression, but it’s a mind thing.
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I do not know if you are aware of this blog/blogger, but I thought with so many of your Haiku, Tanka and other poetries, stories – You might want to take a look. Colleen has great tips about writing and gives other sites about publishing possibilities. 😉
https://colleenchesebro.com/ aka Colleen Chesebro – Fairy Whisper
Also, for another fabulous site that I dearly love about Haiku and Tanka and other poetry…
https://charlottedigregorio.wordpress.com/ aka Charlotte Digergorios’s Writer’s Blog
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Thanks for the links. I’ll have a look in the morning 🌹
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