Passing Rain

The echo of distant rain
started to muffle
the air and, all too soon,
distance was lost to cloud
closing in like wet sheep,
and sheeting rain
that dripped and drummed,
persistent and loud
on the roof.

The willow in the garden blazed
with green moss
and elaborate dripping lichen,
while I stood dazed
at the window in the kitchen,
distantly hugging a cup of hot tea,
straining to listen
as the rain disappeared
into the distance.

Kim M. Russell, 24th October 2019

My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: Polyptoton

This Thursday, Frank is our host, and the challenge for the next two days is to use a polyptoton somewhere in our poems; the only constraint is to keep the poem under two hundred words.

Frank explains that a polyptoton is a rhetorical device used for style and persuasiveness; it’s a special kind of repetition where the common base of a word is repeated, but not the whole word exactly. He has given these examples: ‘I dreamed a dream’, ‘a song unsung’ and ‘life worth living’.

36 thoughts on “Passing Rain”

    1. Thank you, Bjorn. It’s still raining here and little Mojo has been out in it all day. I’m sick with worry. She’s so shy and the builders, all nice guys, have scared her away.

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  3. I like how you reused “distance” throughout the poem along with the dripping of the rain. It made me realize how polyptoton’s, perhaps like any repetition, can keep the reader focused on key ideas.

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  7. Excellent sense of place, with great sibilant intervals. We have a tin roof over our deck, and in turbulent
    rain storms, we hear a concerto.

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  8. Good use of the word distance (and related words) for the device.
    Love these words:
    “sheeting rain
    that dripped and drummed,” as I can really hear the rain and then its passing.

    I hope you find Mojo. I am reminded of an evening long ago in Iowa….a fierce blizzard raging and our format came up onto our porch to get away from the wind and snow and have her food and milk and we noticed she’d had her kittens. Had been pregnant that morning. George bundled up and followed that mama cat all over for at least 45 minutes, trying to get her to take him to her kittens so we could bring them inside. She led him on a wild “goose” or should I say cat chase and he finally came in, ice crystals on his beard, freezing. About a week later, sun shiney but cold day, out came mama cat with her kittens…all healthy. She’d hidden them out of harms way….kept them safe from the blizzard/storm. I hope that is what Mojo is doing….simply holed up somewhere until the rain passes and the burly builders/men go home. Thiking of you, Kim.

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    1. Thank you so much , Lill. I enjoyed your story about George and the kittens. After a rough night of sleeping on the couch with intense stomach cramp, I’m up drinking chamomile tea. Mojo has returned and is sitting beside me as I type. 🙂 No builders today, just an electrician coming later on. I’m going to take advantage of that and meet up with a friend this morning.

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    1. Thank you so much Candy. Things are looking better this morning after a very difficult night: Mojo is back and sitting beside me as I type, and the weather forecast has given hope of some sunshine, although it’s paired with frost.

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  17. This is beautiful- I can feel the chills as the clouds cover the sun, and hear the rain rolling over me as I watch it from a window. I love how you added the imagery of the willow and wet garden in. Overall, a very pleasant poem to read ❤

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