Posters were plastered all over town, filling us with expectation: ‘OGDEN’S EXTRAORDINARY OBSERVATORY – ONE NIGHT ONLY’. We had to go.
It’s in an abandoned factory that was closed when we were children, the year my best friend Rachel discovered astronomy. I’m glad I remembered to bring a torch.
Ogden is a creepy man, clown-like in purple suit and star-strewn top hat.
“Welcome, my dears,” he purrs. You are my first visitors.”
“The only visitors,” Rachel says under her breath.
There’s a forest of different telescopes, all pointed at the missing roof. Rachel makes a beeline for the biggest, shiniest antique telescope I have ever seen. We take turns, gasping at the clarity of the lens.
Suddenly, the telescope swings around and we look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope. Of time we have no idea – everything has stopped. Ogden grins.
Kim M. Russell, 12th October 2020

My flash fiction for dVerse Poets Pub Prosery: Telescope of Time
I’m hosting Prosery this Monday, when we ask our barflies to write a very short piece of prose that tells a story, with a beginning, a middle and an end, in any genre of our choice, with a limit of 144 words, or 144 exactly, and including a complete line from a poem.
The line I chose is from D.H. Lawrence’s poem ‘Humming Bird’:
‘We look at him through the wrong end of the long telescope of Time’.
Oh, spooky. I have all sorts of ideas of what might happen next. It’s a fantastic bit of scene-setting, and Ogden is a worrying entity. Love it, Kim.
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Thank you, Sarah! It had to be spooky, it couldn’t be anything else as I’ve been reading some spooky books lately. 😉
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Even the name Ogden is creepy for me… the story makes it crawl under my skin, and I just want to scream …. run, run before it’s too late.
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Ogden is an old Northern name and it was the name in the title of The Small Faces’ very strange album ‘Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake’.
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Scary! Ogden is up to no good. I love it!
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Thanks Linda!
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This is deliciously dark and gripping! 💝 I agree, all sorts of conclusions come to mind as one ponders upon the intricacies of this brilliantly woven prose piece. I’d run as fast as I could from Ogden 🙂
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Thank you, Sanaa. I woke up to a fully-formed Ogden and couldn’t get him out of my head. I[m glad he came in useful. 😉
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You’re most welcome 😍
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Wow! This is like a mix of fantasy, horror, and science fiction. I love it so much.
“Ogden is a creepy man, clown-like in purple suit and star-strewn top hat.”
Ogden is someone I wouldn’t even want to interact with while wearing a hazmat suit. Such an engaging tale here, and I wonder what would have happened next. Intriguing!
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Thank you, Lucy. I’ve thought a lot about what would happen next and may even come back to it another time.
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lol a creepy ending that left me gasping, well done!
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I’m glad it got under your skin, Kate!
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Dramatic and fun. Luv the ending
Stay safe
Much💛love
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Thank you, Gillena!
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I love it and what a great prompt! I too was very influenced by ‘Sons and Lovers’, we went to Eastwood (Bestwood) with school.
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Thank you, Francis! I’ve been to Nottingham once for a conference. My husband came with me and did all the interesting things that I wanted to do. Maybe when the pandemic is under control, I’ll get to visit.
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Wonderful atmosphere weaving, Kim. Ogden feels larger than life and brimming with malicious intent.
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Thank you, Lisa. I might come back to this and finish it for Halloween.
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🙂
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LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!!!
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Thank you!!!
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Willy Wonka or Freddy Krueger? I can’t decide – but I want the next 144 words please. Bravo.
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Thank you so much, Peter. I might come back to this some time – perhaps for Halloween.
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Here’s lookin at you, kid.
Creepylicious work, KR
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Mwahahaha!
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Your story is full of suspense… sounds like it could end up a Scream Night!! Great story Kim.
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Thank you, Dwight!
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I have the feeling they aren’t the first, or last, to be lured to those telescopes.
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Let’s hope someone else turns up and rescues them.
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Ah, you have divided the prompt … very clever! I love the unique way you used it. Congratulations! ❤
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Thank you!
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At least there are two of them and only one of him…a suitable October tale. (K)
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Thanks Kerfe. Maybe someone else has been tempted by the posters.
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Just in time for Halloween — yikes 😳
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🙂
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A spooky tale full of imagination. I recognise the girls’ predicament but I like to think that Ogden will be no match for them…
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Thank you, Ingrid. I think you might be right.
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kaykuala
Out of nowhere it suddenly takes a turn to the mysterious. Great take for it gives the creeps, Kim!
Hank
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I love creepy stories!
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That certainly gave me the heebie, jeebies. I got some Cirque du Freak vibes from it as well. Wonderfully creepy.
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I’m so glad it had that effect on you, Carol!
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Very original story and use of the prompt! I want to know what happens next! I do think this describes the true horror of life, when we realized we’ve been fooled and can’t trust our own eyes. There’s that feeling that the floor has dropped beneath us and we have to find new ground. I love the suspense!
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Thank you, Tricia. This a story I may come back to.
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Oh Kim that was creepy! I sure hope you got the hell out of there. This was well written had me on the edge as I was reading it. Good job.
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Cheers Rob!
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OKAY…..this is an eerie tale…scarey and spookey….I imagine it being told around a campfire at night and everyone shivering!!! YIKES!
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This is one I might come back to for Halloween, Lill. 🙂
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