My response to Jane Dougherty’s Poetry challenge #21: Pantoum
Squelching through the muddy marshes,
Entanglements of grass and reeds,
He swipes at bolshy bulrushes,
Crumbles the heads into white seeds.
Entanglements of grass and reeds
Bending, breaking as he strides by,
Crumbles the heads into white seeds,
Tossing them upwards to the sky.
Bending, breaking as he strides by,
Pondering the riddle of his pain,
Tossing them upwards to the sky,
The seeds tumble to earth again.
Pondering the riddle of his pain,
Feet planted in muddy marshes,
Soaked to the skin in pouring rain,
His heart is full of bulrushes.
Feet planted in muddy marshes,
Entangled in the grass and reeds,
His heart is full of bulrushes,
His head crumbling into white seeds.
© Kim M. Russell, 2016

Image found on www.gettyimages.co.uk
I like this one. There’s something slightly unhinged about it, even before we get to the last line.
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Great job. It has such strong language and imagery, but it is slightly unsettling.
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I think I unsettled myself!
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Uh oh! 😉
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Nice little twist there at the end.
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His heart is full of bulrushes…I get the feeling he’s not a very happy man and in a muddled state.
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This works so well as a pantoum.
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This is beautiful… and sad. Very well done.
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Thank you 🙂
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Read this for a second time this morning and liked it even more–the image is woven so well and impacts me on several levels.
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Wow, Janice, you’ve made me blush! Thank you for such a wonderful comment. You’ve made my day 🙂
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It’s like an old folk song. (K)
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Yes, I can see that. A bit like John Barleycorn, perhaps 🙂
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Yes, that’s good comparison.
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