is ebbing:
the sun
­          our lives
the leaves
­          the grass
the waves
­          the mist

our breaths on frosty mornings

clouds          and          streams
hopes           and          dreams

birds remind
that the year
is ebb-

Kim M. Russell, 8th November 2018

My response to Imaginary Garden with Real Toads Kerry Says: How Does the Story End?

Kerry has tested our knowledge with a real toad quiz on the last lines of some well-known poems. She says that often the hardest part of writing a poem is the creation of a memorable final line. The value of a strong conclusion is evident, but sometimes it is also elusive, and a poem with a great opening line, fades away at the end, or just comes to a dead stop. Kerry has therefore shared five helpful tips. For today’s challenge, she asks us to select one of them and write a new poem with a killer last line.

30 thoughts on “Ebbing

  1. “ebbing” is such a particular word, and peculiar in some senses too …. one worth stopping to consider longer than just in passing, imo.

    I like the lay out of the poem Kim. And the particular way you’ve used the words to set concrete ideas in mind, yet without being too particular and “fussy” for it … a metaphorical dip into the philosophical – and then, the closing stanza — is wonderful. Conclusive. Asks a question and really ties up the “gentle vagueness” of the beginning ….

    and clever clever – because this really ties the whole poem together – captures the truth of “ebbing” – the wash and wave, the pull and push, the flow of …. the tides of life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The way you emphasize “ebbing” has me reading “I see bb-ing” at the end, meaning holes … bb guns shooting everything, leaves, the sun, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, this is wonderfully done, Kim — the deftness of words, the ideas both concrete and metaphysical, the voice of reason and awareness all work so well. Ebbing is perhaps such a beautiful/sacred word to this season and perchance life too. And the visual appeal of this poem lies in those clever spaces and breaks — the poems like these make for a great reading experience. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the way you have structured this poem adds to the “punch” of it! I usually don’t like poems with line breaks i odd places, but it really works here.

    Liked by 1 person

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