Until I rampaged into womanhood
and found myself adrift on the sea of life,
you were a gorse bush flaming through my childhood,
golden, scented with coconut, alive.
You were my harbour when I shipwrecked motherhood,
a beacon when relationships capsized.
You encouraged me to be cautious in my adulthood,
and always try to see through another’s eyes.
Your quiet demise left me bereft of daughterhood.
I like to think you’re still here by my side.
Kim M. Russell, 29th April 2025

I’m hosting at the dVerse Poets Pub this week, with Tuesday Poetics, and we’re getting hooked on opening lines, which was inspired while rereading Philip Larkin’s poems, which often begin with surprising lines that hook the reader. I’ve given examples in the following poems: ‘This Be The Verse’ begins with direct, possibly offensive language; in ‘The Mower’ the initial image is a bit of a shock; ‘Aubade’ opens with an honest statement; and ‘The Trees’, begins with a gentle surprise.
Our challenge is to write a poem that starts with a surprising hook, which can be one to three lines, but must develop into a fully-fledged poem. It can be on any of the topics in the Larkin poems given as examples: parents, a mower, a day in our life, trees, or a topic of our choice. The style and form are our own choice, but we have to be hooked on the opening lines.
The first two lines really set the scene… the mother and daughter relationship so well captured.
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Thanks so much, Björn.
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Oh my heart, this is gorgeous! The opening line is perfect and sets the mood for the rest of the poem 🩷🩷
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Thank you so much, Sanaa!
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I love your last stanza, Kim. I wonder if my mother is watching out for me after death.
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Thank you, Nolcha. My mother visits me as a robin, her favourite bird.
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❤
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Thank you, Ken.
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What a beautiful picture. I especially love “You were my harbour when I shipwrecked motherhood”.
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Thanks Melissa.
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This is beautifully written and tugs the heart Kim. What life lessons we can learn from our mothers specially this part:
You were my harbour when I shipwrecked motherhood,
a beacon when relationships capsized.
The ending part just hits you with their death. Thanks for hosting.
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Thank you, Grace.
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This is beautiful and heartfelt.
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Thank you so much.
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So much emotion in these words Kim. A deep attachment. (K)
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Thank you, Kerfe.
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“Your quiet demise left me bereft of daughterhood.
I like to think you’re still here by my side.”
I love that ending line 🫶
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Thank you, Mich!
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I loved your prompt!
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Thank you, Shay. I look forward to reading this morning.
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love ~
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Thank you, Michael.
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Moved me to tears…what can I say…not much more, I just feel your words, so strongly.
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Sorry I made you cry, Ain.
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Some things hit….but is testimony to the power of words, and thought.
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Having that lighthouse to guide and encourage and warn oneself into womanhood is such a precious and too often unappreciated gift. A poem can show how its done, as you have.
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Thank you kindly, Brendan.
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your strength as a writer and as a human being shines through this, and your deep continuing bond with your mother, to whom you attribute so much xxx
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Ah, thank you so much, Kathy. xxx
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❤
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The opening line is a good hook, but I really love this one:
“You were my harbour when I shipwrecked motherhood,
a beacon when relationships capsized.”
And that’s a gorgeous photo. Such a poignant poem, Kim!
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Thank you so much, Merril.
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You’re welcome, Kim!
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It sure hooked me! A beautiful poem.
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Thanks so much, Rosemary!
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Heartbreaking…💔
Loved reading your work this month, Kim!💜
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Thank you, Romana, I’ve loved reading yours, too. Maybe you’d like to join us over at the dVerse Poets Pub. You can find us at https://dversepoets.com/
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Thank you so much for the invitation, dear Kim–I will check it out!💜
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Strong images, Kim, and oh-so moving. Well told in a few lines–my favorite kind of poetry.
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Thank you so much, Jennifer.
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A wonderful poem full of great hooks, Kim.
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Thank you, Dwight.
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The hook was set and the reader caught in the verse. I too thought the shipwrecked lines were amazing.
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Thank you very much, Truedessa.
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What a splendid hook, Kim!!!! Thanks for a great prompt too!
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Thank you, Carol, for you comment and for joining us!
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You give us a strong and delicate, loving view of the relationship between mother and daughter, and of a journey they will always share, even when physically parted.Thanks also for your excellent prompt.
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Thank you so much!
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Kim, I am sitting at my desk, staring at my monitor .. trying to collect my thoughts. Difficult. My reaction “visceral.” In a beautifully profound way.
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kim!!! awww, the picture. how adorable! and the poem– it made me happy and sad at the same time! … golden, indeed. ❤
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Thank you, Ren. It’s my favourite photo of Mum and me. She was getting over TB at the time, and was still beautiful.
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Such a heartfelt poem, Kim! I loved it!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
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That makes me very happy, Yvette!
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That first lines are a knockout, Kim, and leads us right into the safe harbor of a mother’s love. A beautiful homage.
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I’m pleased you think so, Dora.
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