My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: Let’s Kick It Up a Notch
This evening, Victoria is our host and has asked us to search our archives, choose a poem and add a little spice to it through the use of sensory description, replacing metaphor, or tightening up the word count. I have reworked a poem I posted a year ago:
Cushioned in an August night,
A blue moon’s pearly wash of light
Drowned all but the brightest stars.
Moonshine formed iridescent pearls,
Spilt like champagne in gushing swirls
On waves of oceans, lakes and rivers.
In mountains and forests, her lunatic fingers
Sculpted shadows, exciting moon singers,
Making wolves howl with her secret smile.
In the morning, she faked her death,
To allow the sun to take a breath.
© Kim M. Russell, 2016
This was the original:
Cushioned in the hand of night
The blue moon drowned out
All but the brightest stars
Bounced off broken glass in the roadside
Formed pearls in the water of lakes
Gushed like spilt champagne
Across the waves of oceans
Sculptured shadows in woods and forests
Made wolves howl
With her secret smile
Died in the early morning
To allow the sun to breathe
© Kim M. Russell, 2015