Sometimes,
I can’t remember who I am.
I look at photographs and wonder,
where did she go,
that carefree girl, that careful mother,
so careless with herself?
I often feel disjointed, as if part of me
has broken off,
a branch
hanging,
buffeted by the wind of time,
and wonder, is it mine?
When I read a poem
that was written in my name,
I scrutinise each line for me,
proof that I write poetry
and find that careful,
carefree girl I so carelessly mislaid.
Kim M. Russell, 29th June 2018
My response to Poets United Midweek Motif ~ When I Think About Myself also linked to dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night
Sumana has given us a thoughtful motif this midweek, and she begins with Maya Angelou’s poem ’When I Think About Myself’ – truly inspirational. She also includes poems by John Clare and Gerard Manley Hopkins, as well as quotes from Shakespeare and Ingmar Bergman, to inspire us to write a self-portrait poem.
I enjoyed that. We change so much overtime and it is hard to believe were that carefree girl has gone
I love the image of the branch buffeted by the wind of time
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Thank you, Marja!
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I have a similar experience when encountering my younger self in the form of a photograph or something I wrote years ago… We carry all our former selves in us, the carefree, and the careless, and the much too careful ones, too.
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😊
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That touched somewhere deep inside, Kim. Something most of us would identify with. A kind of loss but without pain, more like a whistful ache, a longing to be all you are all of the time. Loved it!
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Thank you so much, Julie.
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I too! Oh, this resonates through my many lives. Where did she go? Do I remember this one? And did I write that? I like many of them, though. And I know I am not in delusion, I know that I am whole. Thank you for this poem.
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Susan.
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I love this .. the thought of the disjointed parts of self we have left as branches… maybe we need to go back and find them… maybe we need to prune the parts of ourselves that grown cautious and careful…
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Thank you, Bjorn. I sometimes wonder if I pruned too hard.
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Yes, I look at my former self, and wonder, “did I know thee?” Are you me, are we the same, or have I become someone else, unknown to anyone, not even me.
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😊
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Oh, yes! That girl so full of dreams, that got flattened so many times. But who kept rising, who keeps rising………i so love this poem!
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Thank our so much, Sherry!
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That’s relatable. Great work with this.
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Thank you very much.
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Good observation: “When I read a poem
that was written in my name,
I scrutinise each line for me”
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Thank you Frank.
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I can relate to that surprise too ~ I really like that part that you can find that girl within in your writing ~ We leave a part of ourself in our writing ~
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We do.
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“so careless with herself”…I think now I’ve reached this space. I love the branch image, so perfectly blends with the theme. Beautiful.
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Thank you, Sumana.
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I search my poems, also, for a semblance of self. Well done.
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😊
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Those old words and images seem like strangers sometimes…(K)
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They do – sometimes I wonder if it was really me.
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This is wonderful! It made me ponder times in my life when I felt like I lost myself and what it took to come back to myself.
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Thank you, Jo!
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“I look at photographs and wonder….” Ah, don’t we all? A brave and well-written self-portrait!
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Thank you, Charley!
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You are welcome!
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Reblogged this on NANMYKEL.COM and commented:
I can relate to this so much. It sounds like my own thoughts tho not so elegani. I’d like to reblog.’
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Thank you for the reblog, Nan!
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Thanks for wrting it!
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I missed this prompt…. but so pleased to read yours.
I love the way you sift through lines of poetry searching for that carefree girl. Well crafted!
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Thanks Viv!
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😊
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I like this a lot, Kim … the reflection and rediscovery upon one’s bygone past. “[T]hat carefree girl, that careful mother, / so careless with herself?” Quite a hook in this line in particular … which doesn’t stop ringing in my head.
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Thank you, Colin.
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It touches a chord. Maturity is good, but lacks the charm of innocence.
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Yes, not much new left to discover.
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