Coastal Terzanelle

The coastline is a rugged spine of cliff,
its rocky ribs fall and rise with each breath
of wind and wave that shifts the distant skiff.

Its feet stand firm and solid in the depth
of salty water tugging at its bones,
ribs falling, rising with each breath.

The tides have loosened roots and bits of stones
like rotten teeth; they tumble to the beach
with salty water tugging at its bones.

At high tide, sandy walks are out of reach,
the swell has all but washed away the scree,
like rotten teeth it tumbles to the beach.

A muted pearly light over the sea
becomes a fog that creeps towards the shore,
where swell has all but washed away the scree.

It sips the salt-stained lighthouse like a straw,
the coastline with its rugged spine of cliff
veiled with fog that creeps towards the shore

where wind and wave shift the distant skiff.

Kim M. Russell, 1st November 2018

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My reworked poem for dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night

Last week, Jill was behind the bar with a repetition prompt. Inspired by Jane Dougherty’s poem entitled ‘Shoot’ for the previous Open Link Night, I tried a terzanelle. However, I got carried away and it turned into something else. This week I’m hosting OLN and taking the opportunity to share a reworked version.

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34 thoughts on “Coastal Terzanelle

  1. This is a brilliant execution of the Terzanelle form Kim! ❤️ Especially love the image of “A muted pearly light over the sea becomes a fog that creeps towards the shore.” 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ooh, I really like the repetitions and how they help in etching those images and enforcing their visual as an atmospheric element here. There is such craftsmanship in picturing all these elements — the cliff, the light, the fog, the lighthouse, et al. This is plain wonderful: “The tides have loosened roots and bits of stones/like rotten teeth; they tumble to the beach/with salty water tugging at its bones.”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I like the reworked/worded version too 🙂

    and apart from all the deliciously descriptive lines and the intensity of the images it brings to mind, what strikes me so much, is the use of the word “ribs” —
    it’s really brilliant –
    the ribs of the rock/cliff face
    the “bones” of the “beacon” ontop
    the ribs of the waves – <— and this makes feel the movement, the "breath" of the currents and tides – and how both land and sea, and air – yes air/wind too – are having this "conversation" with each other …

    I picture a rather misty, fog, and very wet and slick image in my mind, and it feels like a "bellows" – that ribbed, ribbing – expanding, contracting …

    this is just really atmospheric and I like it a whole lot Kim!

    Liked by 2 people

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