What is this twilight, this world of shadow?
It’s neither day nor night, this crumbling ledge.
In our innocence, we named it limbo,
and think we know it well, this fiery edge
of hell, where even demons’ pinions fledge.
Yet the painful glow of eternity
is tempting when compared with the empty
uncertainty – even hellfire can stave –
although it may be inadvertently
a spiritual void beyond the grave.
Kim M. Russell, 1st August 2019
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: More Dizain
Frank is our host this week and he reminds us that we are currently focusing on the dizain, a poem of ten lines with ten syllables per line and a rhyme pattern ababbccdcd
I chose to rework a poem called ‘Ghost of a Chance’, which I wrote in April for NaPoWriMo.
writing in north norfolk 
I like the description of limbo as a “fiery edge
of hell”. And “crumbling”.
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Thanks Frank.
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Clever rhymes in this one, Kim, and I like your dramatic subject matter 🙂
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Cheers Jane! 🤓
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A strong poem, rife with metaphysics, yet clever and true to the form. I like the line /where even demons’ pinions fledge/.
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Thanks Glenn.
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Atmospheric and dread-full, a place sometimes found in nightmares.
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It’s also how life feels sometimes, Jade.
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Gripping dizain Kim. Well written, unsettling read.
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Thanks Rob.
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That empty uncertainty can be numbing, filled with spiritual void Kim.
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It certainly can, Grace.
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Wow, both versions of this poem are wonderful. I probably prefer, just slightly, the clarity of the original, yet the vividness and power of the dizain version have huge impact.
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Thank you, Rosemary. I prefer the original, but it was an interesting and enlightening exercise.
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Full of shivers. Such a strange concept, purgatory. (K)
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I agree, Kerfe. I prefer ghosts.
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