His face was like a clock that ran out of minutes, his voice like a car with a flat battery, but he had the touch of a virtuoso violinist and a smile that was honest, without flattery. She was a feline, a purring predator, her sharp fangs hidden behind a full pout; she radiated warmth as he stroked and petted her until he was well and truly caught like a mouse in a trap, a deer in the headlights, he was always at her beck and call. He spent the rest of his life of lonely nights praying for her to come home from the ball she was having on the money he gave her, her knight in armour, her susceptible saviour. Kim M. Russell, 24th April 2022
I can’t believe that this is the last Sunday of NaPoWriMo 2022 and there are only six days to go! The prompt today is to write a poem that uses one or more hard-boiled similes, if possible with an ironic or sarcastic tone, like Raymond Chandler. Image found on Wikipedia.
Nicely written. My pen isn’t cooperating this morning. Is your sight improving?
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Thanks Marilyn. Distance sight in my right eye is crystal clear, but I have been struggling with reading print and working on the laptop. David drove me to collect my modified glasses yesterday, which means I can read fine with my left eye, but it still feels weird and is quite tiring. Still getting some flickering but no more plague of fly floaters! Early days yet, but worth it. 😎
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Floaters. Aargh. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve swatted the air mistaking a floater for an insect. 😂 so ideally, you’ll only need reading glasses after the other eye is done?
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I will need an eye test and prescription reading glasses, which can be sorted out when the other eye has been done and has settled down. I’ll also need sunglasses, so will take advantage of Specsavers two for one offer.🤓
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My glasses have a coating that turns them into sunglasses when I’m outside (or in a bright room). Peder’s had this option for years, so I tried it last time I needed new lenses. I don’t think I’d do it again.
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My other glasses have that but I can’t wear them now.
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Beautifully written!
The Big Sleep is really great, both the movie and the novel.
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Thank you so much!
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You opened the poem with a bang, Kim. ‘ his face was like a clock that ran out of minutes’. The second stanza sounds hardboiled to me 🙂 . I enjoyed this prompt but I’m not sure if the similies I used were boiled enough.
I hope you’re feeling better now.
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Thank you for kind comments, and for your concern. I just came from a short walk and it’s lovely to see everything clearer.
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That’s wonderful!
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That image of a face “like a clock that ran out of minutes” is priceless, Kim! And I love that you chose to write this piece as a sonnet. I’m glad you’re seeing better than before!💜🍃
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Thank you, Romana!
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I like your similes, and a big metaphor thrown in. Poor folk here, both of them. Will she come home after she’s spent the money? Or will he send her more? Perhaps find another lover? How about living the life of an old maid, perhaps she is really a loner type?
How do the blues look to you now? Mine have become bright and vividly blue.
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Thanks Jim!
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