Rebuff

He leads her to a sea of oilseed rape,
   his hushed words warn her not to make a sound. 
Her trusting eyes are wide, her mouth agape, 
   as butterflies of many hues astound.
He begs her listen to the gushing stream,
   to watch for river birds and frisking otters; 
he shows her silver trout and common bream,
   the kingfisher and other bank-side creatures.
They wander where sloe hedges hum with bees
   and paths alive with blue-tailed dragonflies,
until they reach a darkening copse of trees,
   deep shadows where he tells her shady lies.
She runs through glades of birch and boggy pools, 
   and long grass tears at her with violent scratches;
she can’t believe he took her for a fool,
   as on and on through fields she trips and dashes.
Seduced with nectar, gown dusted with pollen,
   rebuff becomes rebuke that she has fallen.

Kim M. Russell, 15th June 2023

Björn is our landlord at the dVerse Poets Pub where we are meeting the bar with a heroic sonnet and John Donne. He tells us that he has been listening to a podcast series called ‘Not Just the Tudors’, which gave him the inspiration for today’s form prompt, together with ‘The Token’, a sonnet by John Donne.

We are writing sonnets with four quatrains followed by a rhyming couplet (abab; cdcd; efef; ghgh; ii); the concluding couplet should summarise the message; and it should be written in iambic pentameter.

30 thoughts on “Rebuff”

  1. This is exquisitely drawn, Kim! I love the reference to “a darkening copse of trees,” and how lies are used when it comes to seduction. We know better than to be duped! 💖💖💖

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  3. This fairly trips along, Kim. It captures the style of the old ballads that made light of girls being seduced. It was just what happened, like the birds and the bees. As she runs away, even nature seems to have turned against her. She would probably have thought she didn’t deserve any better.

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  4. The theme moves to light to darkness, the pivotal turn in these lines:

    until they reach a darkening copse of trees,
    deep shadows where he tells her shady lies.

    Love the sonnet verses but what a theme to showcase your rhyming verses. My heart was pumping as she was running away.

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    1. Thank you, Lynn! I tried to write it in keeping with the heroic theme, but there is nothing heroic about it. The Elizabethans wrote quite a lot about seduction and rape.

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  13. Kim you have managed to write about an age-old theme but your language is modern – I found myself lapsing into archaisms due to the form – superb in its light and dark…

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  14. I wondered in the first line whether people pronounce the vegetable like the crime in England now, or whether that was meant to say what happened.

    I don’t remember learning, but remember knowing that the seeds in the parakeet’s mix were “raaahhp” and could also be spelled “rabe,” because the plant’s related to kohlrabi…but now people in the US seem to have given up on teaching this to the young, and just call all the plants canola. Canola greens with peanut sauce, yes.

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