My response to Jane Dougherty’s Poetry challenge #45: Summer storm, also linked to dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night #178 – Saving Grace
photo ©Fir0002
No place to hide
On a path overhung with trees:
No place to hide,
Escape the thrumming of sulphide,
Imminent lightning on the breeze,
An undercurrent of unease:
No place to hide
© Kim M. Russell, 2016
Jane set us the challenge of writing a rondelet, which has seven lines with a strict number of beats per line and a rhyming pattern, with the theme of summer storm and an accompanying inspirational image. I’ve taken lines from a poem I wrote for Sue Vincent’s Thursday Photo Prompt – Cave – #writephoto today and reworked them into a rondolet: https://writinginnorthnorfolk.com/2016/08/25/natures-way/
writing in north norfolk 
I do like this one, Kim. It’s beautifully unsettling, the contrast between the calm pastoral elements and the charged air.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Jane. I do love a storm. When I was about twelve, I stayed up all night watching a storm from my bedroom window on the top floor of a block of maisonettes in south London. It’s the only way to find out how powerful lightning is – it split a tree in half!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s the kind of childhood memory that will stay with you forever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes!
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is very good… the way the repeated line change meaning into sinister… yes that’s how it should be done.. (I think we did Rondolet a long time ago at dVerse too)
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was my first rondolet and I really got on with it. I’d already written about a storm for Sue Vincent’s challenge, so I took some of the lines from that poem and jiggled them about a bit, cut away some words and lines, added the repeated line and it kind of fell into place. If only poetry was like that every day!
LikeLike
Gosh ❤ this is soo powerful.. the poem captures the rising storm both of one’s feelings and emotions and of the external forces with the image ‘Imminent lightning on the breeze’ beautifully rendered.
Lots of love,
Sanaa
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sanaa – love coming straight back to you!
LikeLike
vividly unnerving, as the rush before a storm often is 🙂 Bravo!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Morgan!
LikeLiked by 1 person
That feeling of being caught in the storm…such a frightening experience. Nicely written!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Bryan!
LikeLike
Seems like our weather here tonight. I specially love: Escape the thrumming of sulphide-
Thanks for your hosting over the last two days. Really appreciated your help.
LikeLike
Wonderful rondolet. so full of tension and fear, the contrast between the pastoral bits and the burgeoning storm. Most excellent!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Toni!
LikeLike
Very nice. I never heard of a Rondolet poem before. I will have to check it out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s a comprehensive description of the form over on http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/rondelet.html
LikeLike
“imminent lightning on the breeze” —- expectation. I can feel this!
Great use of the form.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Lillian!
LikeLike
Vivid and powerful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for reading and commenting!
LikeLike
You capture the power of the storm! I love the rhyme of hide and sulphide. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the repetition of this, mimicking the repeat of lightning in a storm.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The repeated lines work so well here. I always like it when these very formal forms flow smoothly, and you’ve really nailed that here. It’s a little bit creepy, as well!
LikeLike
Quite dark, but beautiful. Well done!
LikeLike
Concise and yet full of description and meaning that is apparent–very nice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Sean.
LikeLike