The moon’s a balloon that expands with night
and bursts with stars and constellations bright,
reminding late night lovers of the dawn
whose fingers shatter dreams with early light.
In the amber glow of a winter morn,
when doors are locked and curtains are still drawn,
early risers leave the warmth of their sheets
to explore the images frost has borne.
The sweet whiff of wood smoke hangs on the breeze
whispering false promises in the trees.
Most colour’s been leached by winter to grey
but hawthorns still flaunt crimson necklaces.
The silver balloon has faded away,
scorned by the windhover sun in the sky;
the only stars left sparkle in the ice
thawing in the hoof tracks of bridleways.
Kim M. Russell, 14th February 2019
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: Imagery in the Rubaiyat Form
Jill is giving us some Rubaiyat support this week. She says that imagery is an essential component in the Rubaiyat form, and invites us to take a look at language that appeals to our physical senses (auditory, tactile, olfactory and kinaesthetic), taking as examples ‘Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening’ by Robert Frost, a contemporary Rubaiyat which Frank posted two weeks ago, ‘Harlem’ by Langston Hughes and ‘Daffodils by William Wordsworth.
Jill urges us to appeal to the senses – all six of them. She says that we can find all kinds of references to imagery that go beyond even that number, but she’s limiting it to: visual, tactile, olfactory, taste, auditory and kinaesthetic, the sense that causes us to feel and sense motion.
I’ve taken a Ruba’i I wrote for Frank’s prompt last April (‘Rubai of Light) and expanded on it, developing it into a Rubaiyat with ten syllables per line.
writing in north norfolk 
Lots of wonderful imagery! Warmth of the sheets and the scent of wood smoke – universal appeal. Glad you expanded this 🙂
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Thank you, Jill! 🙂
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That first stanza is the one I like the most. The lines flow beautifully.
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Thanks Jane!
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I do love this expansion and the flow of leaving the bed to see the frost until that last image with the sun erasing the moon balloon… lovely
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Thank you so much, Bjorn. I’ve been trying to catch up with all the Rubaiyats and am flagging. I liked your developed poem but am too exhausted to comment – I’ll be back in the morning!
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I liked /to explore the images frost has borne./. You seem more comfortable with the form; nice word-smithing. I, too, loved the whiff of wood smoke.
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Thanks Glenn. I found the sonnet more comfortable. I wonder which form will be next.
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Oh, this is just so lovely, Kim. I particularly like the first stanza, and how each quatrain can stand alone, but also are connected.
I am also way behind on reading. 🙂
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Thank you, Merril! 😊
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🙂
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i so loved the second stanza, a slow approach to a beautiful discovery – ten syllables usually sound a mouthful but your lines flow deliciously
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Thank you, Gina!
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I too like how each quatrain can stand on its own yet together they form a wonderful sequence of imagery from night till beyond dawn. I liked the third stanza the best of all of them – a subjective thing.
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Thank so much.
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I liked the sound. It guided me through the poem.
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Thanks Frank.
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I like especially the first stanza. Can’t go wrong with the moon as inspiration! (K)
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Yes, I love the moon. 🙂
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This has a fairy feel to it. Nice.
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😊
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❤❤❤
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