On the rooftop, sparrows twitter,
peering quizzically from the gutter;
they flurry feathers, swoop and pirouette,
dodging in and out of privets.
Peering quizzically from the gutter,
they carry bits of twig and moss,
dodging in and out of privets
to patch and line their new-built nests.
They carry bits of twig and moss
and, when the day is nearly done,
patch and line their new-built nests,
then settle noisily down to rest.
They patch and line their new-built nests,
flurry feathers, swoop and pirouette,
then settle noisily down to rest.
From the rooftop, sparrows twitter.
Kim M. Russell, 7th March 2019
A new pantoum for dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night
I’ve taken a poem I wrote for our elderly ex-neighbours, who have moved away to a bungalow. I got the idea from an article I read in The Times a few weeks ago. I originally wrote it in a card, wishing them well in their new home, and decided to rework it as a pantoum.
This is so great, the sound you used made me think of the birds, but even better your choice of those birds moving around like that hid the repetitiveness of the pantoun… I didn’t realize it was a pantoun until the very end.
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I am enjoying the birdsong in the mornings and have been watching the birds. I can’t believe they’re already so active.
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This is lovely!
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Thank you so much, Ayala!
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Heightened observation here, Kim – lovely to read… Thank you…
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Thanks for reading and commenting, Scott!
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I miss sparrows.
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Don’t you get them where you are in France, Jane or are they are different species?
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There are still lots of house sparrows in towns but like in England the populations of hedge and tree sparrows have dropped to the extent that I haven’t seen a single one since we’ve been here.
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We must have yours!
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Look after them 🙂
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A sweet and accurate pantoum; true to form, and like Bjorn mentioned, your words are so swell, the form did not dominate the piece. I nominate this poem to be put in the upcoming dVerse form book.
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Thank you so much, Glenn!
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They are very noisy although they sometimes quiet down when they know I’m paying attention to them.
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They’re friendly little things!
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This is gorgeously rendered, Kim! ❤ It feels like birds chirping and awaiting the arrival of Spring! 😍😍😍
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Thank you kindly, Sanaa!
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A wonderful pantoum. Makes me long to see the birds gathering twigs.
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Thanks Jade! The weather bamboozled the birds today, which started off sunny and ended up rainy, and frightened away the robin that visited early this morning.
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A robin! I remember they lingered late in the fall. I hope they stay away awhile, or they won’t survive.
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Very nicely done Kim. The sparrows nesting are a sign spring is just around the corner.
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Thank you, Dwight. It;s definitely looking springlike here.
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Pantoums always remind me of Khayyam’s “…but evermore came out by the same door as in I went”! I love that the sparrows are readying for Spring. We have snow predicted for tonight … AGAIN!
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Snow! I haven’t seen any snow for ages. I wish I could send some of our spring weather over to you, although yesterday it changed to rain halfway through the day. It’s still chilly out there!
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I can’t wait to see these creatures in spring. I love the sounds of the pantoum Kim specially with the:
flurry feathers, swoop and pirouette,
then settle noisily down to rest.
From the rooftop, sparrows twitter.
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Thank you, Grace.
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There are no sparrows making nest here yet. You made feel spring on this winter day. I recognized the form as it is one of my favorites.
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Thank you! I’m glad I was able to spring up your wintry day. 🙂
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Nice pantoum poem.
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Thank you!
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this is a delight to the senses!
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Thank you!
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you’re welcome!
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Sparrows are always so busy! They are fun to watch. The rhythmic repetition is just like building a nest, too. (K)
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I’m on my way back from London and looking forward to seeing and hearing Norfolk birds again!
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A serene momemnt, wonderfully rendered by your well-crafted pantoum! Wonderful!
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Thank you kindly, Frank!
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Sweet! I love so much about birds
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This was a wonderful vignette of nature in action. Uplifting and fulfilling Kim… I like! 🙂
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Thanks Rob!
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So enjoyed this, Kim, as I am a big bird-lover. You use of slant rhyme and consonance works so well. I’ve been entertaining finches, mockingbirds and hummers at our feeders–or should I say,they’ve been entertaining me.
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Thank you, Victoria. We have don’t have mockingbirds or hummers but we are lucky to have finches, as well as magpies and, occasionally, jays. Birds are so entertaining!
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this was pretty and happy and love the twittering of the sparrows even as they lay down to rest, this is what i would call “neat” in so many ways, the repetitions were effortless and i felt I was reading a story.
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Thank you, Gina.
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