fruits of muddy shores
crested waves before
sparkled
wanting to know more
tempted to explore
startled
by this sky of ours
millions of stars
buried in Earth’s store
extinct dinosaurs
marvelled
ancient bones galore
crashed like meteors
thankful
how can we ignore
life in ocean’s store?
Kim M. Russell, 9th May 2019
My response to dVerse Poets Pub Meeting the Bar: More Lai and Lai Nouveau
Frank is our host this Thursday a nd he reminds us that this month we are featuring the poetic forms of lai and lai nouveau.
The challenge today is to write a new lai or lai nouveau or revise a former entry. I’ve stripped down the poem I wrote for this week’s poetics, ‘Theoretically’, and re-written it as a lai.
writing in north norfolk 
I love this stripping down… maybe that is the thing to do… easier to make sense of the form if you start with something that has meaning.
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Nice sound!! I like how you selected words with accents on the first syllable in the lines with two syllables.
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I admire the stripped down version too. Specially like that wonder of beholding the million of stars, and that ending question.
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Thanks Grace.
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I really love your words, one day I will surely write as you do.
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Thank you so much!
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Pleasure
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the answer: we can’t. beautiful poem
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Thanks Jade.
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You are welcome.
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Startled is such a great word and sound in the context of everything else. Ignorance is not bliss…(K)
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Thank you, Kerfe. I agree about ignorance – we’re supposed to learn from the world around us not destroy it.
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I like this, Kim. It is so vivid. Well done. 🙂
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Thank you, Crystal.😊
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Loved the title too!
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Love this Kim, and it’s theme.
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Thank you, Sara.
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I read both this poem and the original it’s based on (“theoretically”) and I have to admit, I think this one is the better version. The sparseness of the Lai, I think, give the words and the message more “punch”. The two syllable lines made me pause so those words really gave impact to the other lines. Well done on both poems but this one is my favorite!
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Thank you kindly!
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I love this and it seems to flow without any startled impact of too much rhyme! And the meaning is perfectly put forward.
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Thank you so much!
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Hi Kim – Not familiar with the form and it was a bit startling a read — big cognitive leaps from phase to phrase. Boiling down the universe to this very fine residue. But the lilt and sway of rhyme was easy making the assay a pleasure. -Brendan
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Thank you, Brendan. I’m always keen to try new forms, although this was not one of my favourites and I’m not sure if I’ll try it again. I hope to get some interesting lines, stanzas and poems from this evening’s workshop.
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This was a welcome uplift, after watching the morning news and writing my depressing ode. Smiles. Huge in scope, so well done.
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Thank you, Sherry. It’s depressing over here too. The R number is higher than it should be, cases have doubled, and we now have the rule of six.
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It is amazing to think of past eons and the diversity of life this planet has known.
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Maybe we are the current dinosaurs. What will come next?
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I think you made excellent use of the form to convey an important message: powerful, pared-down and poetic.
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Thank you, Ingrid.
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