after e.e. cummings i see your bike left haphazard on the edge of the forbidden cricket pitch fringed with golden hued birds-foot trefoil and clover, sky overhead cross-hatched with vapour trails, like the lines that sketch your face now; your face then was freckled, your breath sweet with bubble gum, lips stained orange with the juice of a Jubbly (do you remember, it was the cheapest ice lolly) after years lost in each other’s memory i found you; since then we have clung to each other like licheny flora on tree, rock, wall faint fault lines deepening in our skin, never enough to leach out the memories we share and always enough to remind me of that summer of cowslips and clover, when I think of you Kim M. Russell, 25th April 2023

Image of birds-foot trefoil in a meadow by Wyxina Tresse on Unsplash
On the 25th day of NaPoWriMo, we are reading e e cummings’ poem [somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond], a classic love poem. Our challenge is to write a love poem that names at least one flower, contains one parenthetical statement, and in which at least some lines break in unusual places.
I tried to emulate cummings as closely as possible in layout and punctuation, but I couldn’t bring myself to omit spaces between punctuation and words – force of habit!
Also shared at the dVerse Poets Pub Open Link Night.
Wow, it is like a romantic movie. I imagine people who fall in love must see everything like the descriptions in this poem: vivid, cheerful, and fun. I love it.
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Thank you so much, Charlene! Your enthusiastic response is much appreciated.
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Oh, this is stunningly beautiful!
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Thank you kindly!
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I love what you do, and I almost expected that those small hands would be there, and you had all the right flowers there (I am very fond of cowslip)
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Thanks so much, Björn. I stayed away from the small hands in case it was too much.
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Beautiful response Kim with the format and style of ee cummings. Love the imagery specially on 2nd and 3rd stanza with bubble gum and cheap ice lolly. Happy writing for the rest of the month.
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Thank you Grace. Only three days to go. 🙂
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You NaPoWriMoers amaze me with the productivity. This is classic ee but steps further back into one’s beloved childhood. The imagery is so crisp and sweet, all the more so for acknowledging how much time has passed.
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Thanks Brendan. What a lovely comment.
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Something quite magical happens from that first line and the bike left haphazard – it immediately draws me into the time and reminiscence. From that line/image, the poem unfolds beautifully.
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Thank you kindly Chris!
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Well, I forgot you were working to a prompt, because the first line drew me in and held me there in borrowed memory, with the birds-foot trefoils (a favourite of mine) and the smell of that particular Jubbly… Such an atmosphere, though evanescent and on the edge of disappearing … so many unanswered questions …
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Your comments have made me very happy, Kathy. Thank you.
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with vapour trails, like the lines that sketch
your face now;
That’s my favorite part.😊
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Thank you Melissa!
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This is a lovely poem Kim, full of resonant images, felt like I was there at the edge of that cricket pitch.
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Thanks so much!
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So much emotion here Kim–lovely. (K)
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Thank you Kerfe!
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This took me back many years Kim. I have similar memories of my childhood and friendships. “your breath sweet with bubble gum,
lips stained orange with the juice of a Jubbly” Oh my gosh, yes! You really captured the moment. I loved it.
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I’m pleased my poem had that effect! And it’s lovely to know we have some things in common.😊
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Its the first time I’ve thought of an orange Jubbly in donkey’s years! Lol 🤣❤️
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Fact or fiction, romance or friendship, this is a lovely story.
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Thanks Priscilla. All true.
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So beautifully done, Kim, and it’s filled with the most wonderful images–the bike, the cheap ice lolly (what I’d call a popsicle, I think), and those memories of the cowslip summer. Poignant and lovely!
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It’s all exactly how it was, Merril. 🙂
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Even more special then, Kim! 💙
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